Choosing a guardian for your children is a tough decision. But, even though it is a tough decision, you (and your co-parent) should be the one to make it. I get it. It is tough to imagine anyone raising your children. There is no way someone will do things the way you do. To be honest, that is not the most important part of the decision. There are important considerations that I will cover below but the most important part of the decision is who will provide your children a safe and loving home.
There is no single “right” choice. Every family is different, and parents should carefully consider several factors before making this decision. I always remind my clients that even though siblings are raised in the same environment they often turn out very differently. You should certainly consider all of the potential guardian’s pros and cons. But don’t put more weight on one factor over the opportunity for a good home to grow in.
Parenting Values and Philosophy
A guardian will make day-to-day decisions about your child’s upbringing. Consider whether the person shares your views on education, discipline, religion, healthcare, and other important aspects of parenting.
Emotional Bond with Your Children
A child is likely to adjust more successfully if placed with someone they already know and trust. Existing relationships between the proposed guardian and your children can provide stability during an otherwise difficult time.
Age and Health
While grandparents and older relatives are often natural choices, it is important to realistically consider whether they will be physically and emotionally able to care for a child for many years.
Financial Responsibility
A guardian does not have to be wealthy, particularly if your estate plan provides financial resources for your children. However, the individual should be financially responsible and capable of managing the practical aspects of raising a child.
Location
Where a guardian lives can significantly affect a child’s life. A move may mean changing schools, leaving friends, or being separated from extended family. These factors should be weighed carefully.
Family Dynamics
Naming one family member instead of another can sometimes create tension. While your children’s best interests should always come first, it is wise to consider how your decision may affect family relationships.
Willingness to Serve
Never assume someone is willing to act as guardian. Have an honest conversation with your proposed guardian before naming them in your estate planning documents. They should understand the responsibilities involved and be comfortable accepting them.
Naming Alternate Guardians
Circumstances change. The person you select today may not be available years from now. Naming one or more alternate guardians helps ensure your wishes can still be carried out if your first choice is unable or unwilling to serve.
Review Your Decision Periodically
Life changes through marriages, divorces, births, relocations, and changes in health or finances. Your estate plan—and your choice of guardian—should be reviewed every few years or after any significant life event.
Choosing a guardian is one of the most personal decisions parents will ever make. Taking the time to thoughtfully evaluate your options can provide peace of mind and help ensure that your children are cared for by someone you trust if the unexpected occurs.